My name is Bryan Lowe, and I’m one of the rascals that try to guide this blog, Psalmslife.com. Incidentally, I’m also a Christian pastor and Bible teacher who struggles with a ripping case of Bipolar Disorder I, and a galloping dose of Hepatitis C (which I contracted using IV drugs back in the 70′s.) I’ve had a series of catastrophic health issues in just a few years period. You could say that life has been very difficult.
Jonathan Coe and I have a burden for a blog that will concern itself with the challenges of every Christian believer. And well-focused on the profound idea of an “open heaven.” The key issues are brokenness and humility. These are critical things, but for the most part, are largely ignored and misunderstood by the mainstream church. The following list has all happened in the last five years. My already shaky faith has been really challenged by these events.
- Death of our daughter, Elizabeth Grace
- Chemical burns to my lungs due to a workplace accident
- Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder 1
- Brain tumor/surgery (I now have to walk with a cane)
- Hepatitis C with encephalopathy issues, lethargy, and some confusion
- Panic Attacks, delusions and paranoia
- Non-healing sores, a low immune system (yes, I do vitamins)
- Currently on daily meds–Lithium, Seroquil and Zoloft, (a mood-stabilizer, antipsychotic, and an antidepressant)
- I’m currently on disability
- Hand tremors which are not controllable
- Drastic weight loss, which drives my doctors crazy
- Tinnitus, I hear music almost all the time
- Thyroid deficiency, I need to take meds for, everyday
For obvious reasons, I had to resign as a senior pastor, which was hard because it was the only thing I ever wanted to do. Sometimes, I feel like Job from the Old Testament and really, really struggled with anger towards God. I still fight with this when life grows dark. So this is what I have had to deal with.
From this I want to speak into the darkness, and try to help any who also seek help. I just want to be the guy handing out flashlights to the desperate people in the dark. Jesus frees us and leads us to hope. His Word is trustworthy, and his spirit is gentle.
As Jesus’ disciple, I hunger for the Psalms. People get vitamin deficiencies, I believe we get Psalms deficiencies. We must have the Book! Each Psalm is a mineshaft to dig and uncover. That is exactly what we’ll be doing here on Psalmslife.com.